Back in the day I used to be a huge video game dork. While other more children played baseball outside in the sun, I hid away in my bedroom cramming my face full of twinkies and gaming until my eyes bled. Metroid for NES and Super Metroid for SNES were two of my...
Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! Guess what’s happening this week? No, not your court-mandated urinalysis/visitation hour. It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and you know what that means! Candy for all! No, wait. That’s Halloween. I mean lots of...
You know what chaps my ass? Thanks to the assholes at Jetpack Site Stats, I haven’t been getting enough ass lately. I’m not talking about the ass you sit on, I’m talking about those ass-inine “unknown search terms”. Luckily I discovered a...
A lot of guys have asked me about internet dating using Craigslist. Most of the questions revolve around “how do I get laid on Craigslist”, “how do I write a good Craigslist m4w ad” or “can I really get laid on Craigslist Casual...
Welcome to Matt’s Guide to the Wonderful World of Fashion! This is the first in a series of articles wherein I helpfully impose my fashion sense upon the internet with an iron fist. Many of my readers have questioned the acceptability of gracing Walmart and...
Did you know that everyone loves zombies? AMC’s ultra-boring zombie drama “The Walking Dead” proves that hordes of viewers are willing to sit through 58.875 minutes of painful dialogue just to see 30 seconds of the undead feasting on human flesh. If...
Finally! It’s taken a while to crawl up the Google hierarchy, but I’m finally getting enough weird search terms to create a monthly post. Since this blog is fairly new, these terms aren’t the greatest, but they’ll still make you wonder....
I’ve had a lot of #GamerGate supporters ask me to create some Sega Genesis-inspired #GamerGate art, so here’s a fresh new design! This one is my take on the Sega Genesis logo. Take a look: Pick up a t-shirt for only $14 at Teepublic ($20 after the sale...
Unlucky at cards, lucky at love??? You might be if you buy this diabolically delightful t-shirt with the Unlucky Devil logo! Check it out: Get this shirt for only $14 at Teepublic now while it’s on sale ($20 after the sale period ends). You can also get this...
You, like most Americans, are probably a fat sack of crap. As a former childhood tubbo who has honed his body into godlike physical perfection, I have the authority to yell motivational phrases at you as well as mercilessly make fun of your puny weakling arms or...
