Mattlawrence.net and all information contained within is for entertainment purposes only. All your base are belong to us. No one that writes, has written for or is affiliated with this site is trained or licensed to give relationship, fitness, nutrition or any other form of advice. All information on this site is outright fiction, satire or the author’s personal opinion. Nothing written here should be taken seriously or even read at all. This entire site is written in poor taste and reflects the author’s weird sense of humor. If you don’t like or agree with the content of this website, stop reading it. The writer of this site and any of its affiliates are not responsible for any negative consequences in your life resulting from reading this site. All advice is presented as entertainment and is not to be followed or taken seriously. Acting upon any information or advice presented on this site is done at your own risk. Simply put: If you hurt yourself, break something or are easily offended, don’t try to sue me because you decided to be an idiot.
<em>I reserve the right to update and change this disclaimer without notice. This disclaimer was last updated on May 3, 2019.</em>
All illustrations on mattlawrence.net are created by the author. Illustrations may not be used without permission unless they are labeled for public usage. Unauthorized usage is considered a violation of copyright and I’ll send a team of shark lawyers in expensive suits after your ass. I’m cool with you sharing my work as long as you link back to my site and aren’t trying to make money by sponging off my efforts.
Pictures are typically found via Google Images or Imgur.com, or are taken by the author of the post. Other sources are noted underneath each applicable image or at the end of the page. If you are the owner of an image and would like it removed, fill out the contact form and specify the URL of the image in question.
If you would like to use one of my photographs, digital images or graphic design elements, just ask. If you steal my work I will do my best to haunt your house when I die.
Who doesn’t love the government, right? According to FTC regulations I gotta tell you some stuff.
Part of my income is derived from affiliate marketing. From time to time, I may promote certain books, products or services to you, the User. If you decide to purchase a product or service using one of the links I provide, I may receive monetary compensation in the form of a commission. The majority of commission payments are used help to keep this site running. If I decide that a product or service is worth your money, I will often link to it with an affiliate URL so that I receive commissions from any purchases.
The author of this site is never paid to endorse products or write posts. Rest assured that if I promote a product or service on this website, I own it, use it, or otherwise believe in the quality or value of said product/service. Either that or it’s an obvious joke that I have never owned or used the product. The difference between joke promotions and real promotions should be quite easily recognizable to anyone with basic reading comprehension. Any blog entries intended to be humorous are also grouped within the “humor” category.
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- Logging into WordPress. As no outside entities log into my site, this does not apply to the general user. However, cookies are a necessary function as WordPress won’t work without them.
- Visitors who leave a comment on a blog post will also have a cookie set on their computer. This is not strictly necessary and is a user preference.
I love each and every person who takes the time to check out my site. The sort of manly affection that a lumberjack feels for his chainsaw. I’m a big believer in free speech, so you can mostly say what you want in the comments section. However, I have a low tolerance for people shitting on my virtual lawn (ie “trolling”), so don’t be a jerk. Repeat offenders will have their IP addresses redirected to the disgusting goatse image of my choosing.