You may or may not know this, but eating is good for you. According to many leading cultists, eating paleo is better for you than any flavor of McFlurry. What is “paleo”? I’m glad you asked! Basically it’s eating the same thing a caveman from the “paleolithic” era would eat, like grubs, dirt and other cavemen. I’m about to drop a serious paleo recipe that’s good and good for you.

Sure, you can read one of the 6,325 paleo cookbooks on Amazon, but why fuck around with reading when you can look at pictures? Check out this totally legit cave painting that I found on an actual rock wall:


Cave Painting

Actual cave painting

As you can see, this is an ancient caveman cookbook entitled “Og’s Guide To Smashing A Lizard With A Rock And Then Eating It.” Here’s some easy directions in the English language:

Materials: All you really need is a rock, which is way easier to find and less elaborate than your ridiculous modern-day “pan” and “knife”.

Ingredients: One (1) lizard. This can be found in most arid or tropical locations, often hanging around caves.

– Find rock
– Find lizard
– Smash lizard
– Eat

I hope you enjoyed this simple, delicious paleo treat! Cleanup is pretty easy too, just get a new rock. Tune in next time for another episode of The Ultimate Paleo Cookbook!