When I was a kid we used to beat up other kids, take their lunch money, shoot up heroin and play Super Mario World until we puked all over each other’s shoes. That’s what happens your parents are hippies and hook you up with a limitless supply of sugary Little Debbie munchies. Just kidding! We couldn’t afford heroin. However we did discover the truth – Super Mario isn’t out to save the Mushroom Kingdom. He’s just super high and looking for a fix. Looks like Bob-omb busted Mario in the middle of a binge. Check it out:

 

Super Mario Drug Problem

“You good bro?”

 

Notice Luigi is nowhere to be found? Dude’s a total square. He’s probably hanging out in his room doing homework instead of partying. No wonder Mario got the princess.

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