Here’s a fun “missed connection” I posted on Craigslist a few years ago.

As I was waiting for some friends to get themselves a beer, you stumbled, literally, into my life. You had luxurious dark hair, sweat stains under your armpits and some of those goofy Ugg boots that are apparently still fashionable even though it’s the middle of summer. Desire raged throughout the crowd as you staggered across the parking lot, turned your head nonchalantly and vomited forth huge chunks of partially digested onions and tomatoes all over the pavement without stopping or even missing a single stride. I’ve never seen anyone projectile vomit while walking before, and probably couldn’t replicate this action if I tried. I could tell by his resigned sigh that you had impressed the beer dude behind the counter as well, especially since he was so quick to hose down your puke puddle before anybody slipped and broke an ankle.

If you see this, send me a message! I was the blonde guy wearing the black t-shirt with the huge Misfits skull on the front. Just to prove it’s really you and not one of the other myriad wasteoids in Fort Collins, please describe the vacant, soulless look in your eyes.

Hope to hear from you soon! <3 <3 <3