A lot of guys have asked me about internet dating using Craigslist. Most of the questions revolve around “how do I get laid on Craigslist”, “how do I write a good Craigslist m4w ad” or “can I really get laid on Craigslist Casual Encounters?” Craigslist can actually be a pretty good online dating vehicle, so I’m going to show you an ad that got me over 50 responses, 10 dates and ultimately landed me a short-term girlfriend. Not only that, this ad made it onto The Best of Craigslist. Read it below and I’ll explain why this ad worked well enough that I still catch people ripping the add off to this day.
Why I’ll never succeed in the W4M forum!
I’ve been an avid reader, occasional poster and extremely rare responder of the Craigslist personals for about a year now, and I’ve noticed some common (and hilarious) threads of interest among the women of Fort Collins. I’d like to take a minute to break it down for you, ghetto style, so you can recognize the following horrific cliches and just maybe avoid getting flagged as spam.
“Seeking a man that’s at least 6 feet tall. I like to wear high heels” – Damn, totally boned here. I’m only 5’8 or maybe 5’9′, apparently equaling “somewhere between midget and elf, and therefore undatable”, even though the average American male height is 5’10. And 6 feet tall? What kind of shoes are you wearing anyway? Some shit from the lunar landing? Next…
“Must love animals” – Great… You mean I have to pretend to like your floofy poodle/chihuahua/norway rat mixed breed long enough to maybe earn some kisses? Or that huge mastiff that’s physically capable of kicking me out of your bed? How about the cat that’s contemplating using my balls as a scratching post every time I walk around in my boxers? I think I’ll exit stage right before the fucker eats my socks again.
“Looking for a God-fearing man” – I get the biggest kick out of this one. Why would you be afraid of your own imaginary friend? Seems like you’d better imagine something a little less hostile. I’d suggest Papa Smurf.
“Must like the outdoors” – Barring a select few dweebs I’ve met that live in their parents’ basement and mainline Mountain Dew so they can play World of Warcraft for 87 hours straight, most human beings like being outside at some point. Sure, I’ll go for a day hike with you. Does that mean I want to live in the woods for a month and wipe my ass with a pine cone? No thanks!
“Looking for friends first” – Cool, I’m always down for more friends. Wait, what’s that you say? Your hot friend Brittany is single? Excuse me while I ask her for her phone number.
“Must love children” – Unlike the mighty lion (who will kill and eat cubs from rival males) I say the more kids, the better! We can open our own sweatshop and they can make you shoes. I call being the manager!
“I like having fun” – Whew, what a relief! I’m meeting too many people these days that think having fun sucks. I’m a big fan of fun myself! We have so much in common.
“Must like to dance” – Really? Have you ever met a straight guy that wants to go dancing? Wait, I take that back. I do know one guy, but he’s from Puerto Rico or something. Come to think of it, he’s probably gay. That’s right, Jorge – I’ve got you figured out.
“I like going out, but also enjoy staying in for a quiet night at home” – That’s great, because staying home or going out and doing something are pretty much the only two options you have.
So in conclusion, I say the luck of the Irish be with you lovely ladies of Fort Collins in your search for a badass Daniel Craig-era James Bond lookalike that will dance the Macarena with Mr. Cuddlekins the Poodle whilst purchasing you an all-expenses-paid vacation to Maui. Just keep in mind that Mr. Bond is only 5’10.
I also attached a pic of Daniel Craig holding a poodle. I’ve long since lost the original, but here’s a quick/lazy recreation:
Why does this ad work?
– It’s funny in a relatable way. 99% of girls will fit into one of the categories that I mentioned, but they won’t be offended. Most of the girls who read it said “yep, that’s me!” and responded anyway because they understood the joke.
– I got a few of my “flaws” out in the spotlight, weeding out time wasters and flakes.
– Most guys don’t understand the concept of “show, don’t tell” when it comes to online dating. I’m demonstrating that I have a fun personality and a good sense of humor without saying “I am a funny person”. Girls love a sense of humor. Caveat: Not to blow my own horn here, but most guys can’t live up to this level of writing quality. If you aren’t a funny writer, you’ll need to focus on something else.
– I didn’t bother attaching a pic of myself and opted for the James Bond photoshop job to complete the joke. This is a double-edged sword. Sometimes it sparks curiosity but it might have cost me potential responses. Then again, I’m maybe like 6/10 in the looks department so it might have chased responses away. It’s your call on posting pics.
I’ll post more Craigslist ads in the future to help show different methods of writing Craigslist M4W and Casual Encounters ads. Feel free to ask questions in the comments section.