Blogging Basics: Why You Should Ignore Comment Haters

By | 2017-12-17T22:04:47+00:00 March 30th, 2015|Categories: Blogging, Humor|Tags: , , , , , , |

If you run a blog it's simply a matter of time before you encounter haters, regardless of what your write. I've seen blogs about innocuous, noncontroversial topics like graphic design or pet food that are riddled with useless, rude comments that add no value to [...]

Matt’s Guide To Super Effective Parenting

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:42+00:00 March 27th, 2015|Categories: Humor|Tags: , , , , , , |

So, you've decided to enter the wide world of parenthood. Congratulations. Whether you purposely intended to have children, got knocked up by that dude you met at Burger King or merely had a child randomly appear in your windowless candy van, you probably have no [...]

Hi I’m Matt And I’m Your New Personal Trainer

By | 2017-12-17T23:08:40+00:00 February 27th, 2015|Categories: Fitness, Humor|Tags: , , , , |

You, like most Americans, are probably a fat sack of crap. As a former childhood tubbo who has honed his body into godlike physical perfection, I have the authority to yell motivational phrases at you as well as mercilessly make fun of your puny weakling [...]

Matt’s Top 5 Heathen Gods That Are Better Than The Regular Boring Judeo-Christian God

By | 2017-12-17T23:15:14+00:00 February 18th, 2015|Categories: Humor|Tags: , , , , |

Walking through the local college campus is pretty hazardous. I must wear too many black metal shirts because I'm often assaulted by religious guys trying to get me to go to their church. Today I asked myself, "Why would I waste my Sundays hanging out [...]

Yoga: Not Just For Stinky Hippies On Drugs

By | 2017-12-17T23:23:17+00:00 January 30th, 2015|Categories: Fitness, Humor|Tags: , , , , |

A couple of years ago, my crunchy granola friend Giles hit me up to go rock climbing. Instead of scaling an artificial rock wall like coked-out spider monkeys, Giles suggested that we should attend a yoga class instead. The rusty gears of my internal meathead thought [...]

The Ultimate Groundhog Day Drinking Game

By | 2017-12-17T23:17:45+00:00 January 27th, 2015|Categories: Humor|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Ok bitches! Who's ready for the rootin'est, tootin'est, gun-shootin'est 'Merican holiday in the entire country? Not you, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this Groundhog Day drinking game guide. Time to get day drunk with the East Coast's most beloved, non-Mickey Mouse rodent! Drink 'till [...]

5 Pictures of Otherkin Couples That Will Make You Wish You Weren’t A Cisgender Shitlord

By | 2017-12-17T23:17:03+00:00 January 23rd, 2015|Categories: Humor|Tags: , , , , |

OMG! If you haven't been on Tumblr lately or you're a cisgender shitlord, you probably don't even know what an Otherkin is. The FUCK is wrong with you? You're being a fucking RACIST and you're triggering me with your ignorance, so please check your goddamn [...]

Favorite Gym Characters: Personal Trainer Edition

By | 2017-12-17T23:16:48+00:00 January 14th, 2015|Categories: Fitness, Humor|Tags: , , , , , |

Have you ever wondered how some of your Favorite Gym Characters managed to invent such stupid ass workouts? Me too. You could spend valuable time reading garbage like Men's Health for your bad workout needs, but why bother? It's way easier to pay $55/hour for a personal [...]