Since the dawn of time, mankind has been plagued by a burning philosophical question. No, not the meaning of life. Not the existence of god. What is this question? I’m glad you asked. Perhaps you’re wondering yourself – what is the worst superpower? Well friend, you’re in luck because I’m here with the answer!
Some of you may remember a totally fucking badass show entitled Captain Planet and the Planeteers. I’ll give a brief synopsis for the hopelessly uneducated.
Humanity has been polluting the planet since the early 90s when this cartoon was created. Al Gore, the Spirit of the Earth, noticed that Los Angeles always has a nasty brown haze in the sky and smells like homeless people so he created five Magic Rings. Instead of giving the rings to Navy Seals or somebody who could actually accomplish something, Al Gore gave the rings to five carefully multicultural children from each continent so he could hit his Magic Anti-Pollution Affirmative Action quota.