How I Got Married And Divorced In Two Days

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:25+00:00 November 16th, 2016|Categories: Humor, Stories|Tags: , , , , , , |

Marriage can be a beautiful union between two people who are madly, deeply in love. Or it can be a living hell from which you can never awaken, all because you knocked up that hostess at Denny's while you were both drunk on mouth wash. [...]

Dungeons & Dildos: A New Year’s Adventure

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:27+00:00 February 17th, 2016|Categories: Humor, Stories|Tags: , , , , , |

New Years Eve is a bumbling festival of expensive cover charges and wasted amateurs. Why not skip the whole thing and go to a party? Check out this tale of one of my exciting New Years Eve celebrations. This story was originally published on 11/19/2010 at [...]

My First Craigslist Missed Connection

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:41+00:00 April 22nd, 2015|Categories: Dating, Humor, Stories|Tags: , , , , , |

Awkward comedies are the worst. In fact, cringe-worthy crapfests like Big Bang Theory or Curb Your Enthusiasm usually make me leave the room. I got an awkward wedding invitation a few years ago that was worthy of Larry David. Not only had I dated the [...]

An April Fools Prank On My Boss

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:41+00:00 April 1st, 2015|Categories: Humor, Stories|Tags: , , , , , |

Everyone has stories about an insane place of employment. My former employer is a cool guy, but straight-up batshit crazy when it comes to home improvement projects. A few years ago, he started a quest to redo his garage and back yard. I’m talking MASSIVE [...]

"What’s The Worst Tattoo You’ve Ever Given Someone?"

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:42+00:00 March 25th, 2015|Categories: Humor, Stories|Tags: , , , , , |

Excellent life choices Back in the day, bikers, sailors and convicts used to have tattoos. This was pretty sweet because tattoos were like a big neon sign that told you where to buy drugs. Now every dumbass hipster has knuckle tattoos and anchors etched [...]

The Crazy Girl Saga

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:42+00:00 March 23rd, 2015|Categories: Dating, Humor, Stories|Tags: , , , , , , |

My name is widely known throughout the land for some of the weirdest and worst dating experiences. One of the more legendary in a long line of fucked up dating misadventures involves a cute girl I met on Craigslist a few years ago. I simply [...]

The Excommunication of Pine Sol Guy

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:43+00:00 February 6th, 2015|Categories: Fitness, Humor|Tags: , , , , , |

I don't know what the deal is with low-budget workout facilities. Short of Walmart, gyms seem to attract the biggest screwballs on the face of the earth. The lord and master of all Gym Weirdos is Pine Sol Guy, and this is the story of [...]