Angry Birds Bad Piggy

I have a 3 year old, extremely glitchy Android phone. It’s built like a brick but the internet is slow, the keyboard barely works and it’s filled with T Mobile bloatware. I mainly use it to beat junior high kids over the head and steal their lunch money....

Super Mario Has A Super Serious Drug Problem

When I was a kid we used to beat up other kids, take their lunch money, shoot up heroin and play Super Mario World until we puked all over each other’s shoes. That’s what happens your parents are hippies and hook you up with a limitless supply of sugary...