Stop Jacking Off And Start Making Money Online

Are you ready to STOP BEING A BROKE DICK?

Are you ready to STOP JACKING OFF AND START MAKING MONEY ONLINE through the power of MOTIVATION?

CONGRATULATIONS BITCH, you’ve come to the right place.

This is my NO BULLSHIT GUIDE TO MAKING MONEY ONLINE FOR WINNERS.

HOW MUCH MONEY CAN YOU MAKE ONLINE

If you even have to ask this question, I have bad news.

YOU’RE FUCKING BROKE.

The good news is I’m here to fix your brokeness like that plumber fixed my sink when it was clogged with the hair of that porn star I fucked this morning. I met her ONLINE.

You can make as much money as you want online. It all depends on YOUR LEVEL OF MOTIVATION.

If you are FUCKING MOTIVATED, you can make up to a billion dollars per day. Online.

I know. I’ve done it. By being motivated.

Here’s a picture of me on my money phone. A money phone that I made out of money. Money that I made online.

drug dealer money phone

Ring ring, bitch

If you lack motivation, you’ll sit around with your DICK IN YOUR HAND instead of MAKING MONEY ONLINE. So put down your dick and pick up some MOTIVATION.

HOW TO MAKE SOME MONEY ONLINE

There’s two simple ways to make money online. Unless you’re a broke loser, you can do at least one simply by being motivated.

SELL A FUCKING PRODUCT

Product means “eBook”. So sell one.

I don’t give a fuck if you’ve never even read a book. Books are for fags. Ebooks are for winners. If you were a winner you’d be WRITING RIGHT NOW. Here’s some topics:

  • Motivation

Spend a couple hours writing.

Or pay some guy from India to write for you.

Then sell your eBook.

Don’t bother hiring some art jackoff to make a book cover. I already made one for you so you can start WINNING.

Motivate Your Way To Success

You’re welcome

BE A FUCKING LIFE COACH

Are you motivated?

Can you teach others to be motivated?

Congratulations.

You’re a life coach.

Charge others $1000.00/hour to learn the secrets of your motivation.

Once you sell 1-2 hours worth of life coaching, call up Tony Robbins and tell him to go fuck himself because you’re taking over.

THE REAL SECRET TO MAKING MONEY ONLINE

The best way to make money is by selling your motivation. If you’re motivated enough, you’ll motivate others to buy your book. While you were reading this golden nugget of wisdom, I made $60 and got a blow job.

Remember the golden rule of sales. ABC&GBJs.

Always Be Closing & Getting BJs.

Now put your dick back in your pants.

Get out there.

Make some fucking money.

Are you MOTIVATED ENOUGH to read another post? Read this post about starting a fucking T Shirt Business

About the Author:

Matt Lawrence is the world's greatest illustrator and humor author. Hire him to do your next design project.