True Friends Would Never Fuck Your Mom: March-July Search Terms

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:26+00:00 August 12th, 2016|Categories: Blogging, Humor|Tags: , , , , |

Too bad boys, she's asexual What's new in the wide world of crazy internet searches? Elf porn, cuck foot fetishes and more Craigslist weirdos, that's what! Let us gaze into the abyss of Google Analytics and see what strange search terms brought people to [...]

Native American Orgasm: February Search Terms

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:26+00:00 March 2nd, 2016|Categories: Blogging|Tags: , , , , , , , |

When it comes to search terms, the denizens of the internet never let me down. February brought thousands of sane, regular people to Mattlawrence.net searching for granny porn, pet squirrels, fat booty midgets, and of course, Native American orgasms. Take a look at February's list [...]

Fucking My Grandma: November-January Search Terms

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:27+00:00 February 3rd, 2016|Categories: Blogging, Humor|Tags: , , , , , |

It's been a few months since I've done a search term update, and in the meantime I've gotten more than a few entertaining queries courtesy of The Google. Whether you're trying to fuck your grandma or simply wondering about airbrushed buttholes, let's take a look at three [...]

Stop Jacking Off And Start Making Money Online

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:27+00:00 February 1st, 2016|Categories: Blogging, Humor|Tags: , , , , , , |

Are you ready to STOP BEING A BROKE DICK? Are you ready to STOP JACKING OFF AND START MAKING MONEY ONLINE through the power of MOTIVATION? CONGRATULATIONS BITCH, you've come to the right place. This is my NO BULLSHIT GUIDE TO MAKING MONEY ONLINE FOR [...]

Roger And The Lesbian Elves: October Search Terms

By | 2017-06-16T20:39:28+00:00 November 2nd, 2015|Categories: Blogging, Humor|Tags: , , , , , |

It's November, and that means you better start mentally preparing yourself for Thanksgiving and all your family's needy bullshit. As always, its time for a monthly recap of all the search terms that weirdos used to find my blog. October saw an explosion of midget- [...]

The Tinder Buttslut: September Search Terms

By | 2017-12-17T22:55:44+00:00 October 1st, 2015|Categories: Blogging, Humor|Tags: , , , , , , |

Uh oh, it's the end of September already! That means it's time for pumpkins, ghoulish costumes and a river of Halloween candy-induced 'beetus. The first of the month is also the magical time when I gather up the strangest search terms from across the internet. [...]

Beautiful Midget Girl Of The World: June-August Search Terms

By | 2017-12-17T22:53:21+00:00 September 9th, 2015|Categories: Blogging, Humor|Tags: , , , , |

It's been a while since I posted some search terms, so check out this huge dump of weird shit people used to find my web site: cute bbw redhead shelf ass hot teens on walmart who is girl with one boob hanging out on better [...]

Blogging Basics: Why You Should Ignore Comment Haters

By | 2017-12-17T22:04:47+00:00 March 30th, 2015|Categories: Blogging, Humor|Tags: , , , , , , |

If you run a blog it's simply a matter of time before you encounter haters, regardless of what your write. I've seen blogs about innocuous, noncontroversial topics like graphic design or pet food that are riddled with useless, rude comments that add no value to [...]