Finding true love is a horrific pain in the ass. It involves leaving the house, making friends or getting a job, then actually interacting with the opposite sex. Obtaining a mate the old school way takes way too long and doesn’t cater to my ever-increasing attention deficit disorder. Thank the gods for Tinder, the phone dating app that allows you to find the person of your dreams with a tap of the screen.
Tinder removes the boring “personality” aspect from internet dating sites such as Plenty of Fish or OkCupid. Instead, you have “Judgement: The Video Game” where you tap yes or no based on a person’s appearance. After several months of screwing around with Tinder, I’ve decided that the eligible bachelorettes in my area are simply too unique. That’s why I’ve created this helpful guide (complete with examples!) on how to become the ultimate cookie-cutter Tinder Basic Bitch.
Get A Fake Mustache
Nothing shows your unique, quirky side like a Fake mustache. In fact, fake mustaches are the number one requirement for a Tinder Basic Bitch. Extra credit: display your commitment by getting a mustache tattooed on your finger. Not sure how to pull off the fake mustache? Take a look at these exciting examples: