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  • Adult Coloring Book 31 soothing mandala designs matt lawrence

Book Review – Adult Coloring Book: 31 Soothing Mandala Designs By Matt Lawrence

Today marks the proudest day in my entire life. Prouder than that time I graduated college. Prouder than when Arnold Schwarzenegger shook my hand for heroically saving Sandusky, Ohio’s cutest kitten from a burning building. That’s right, today is the day I release Adult Coloring […]

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Donald Trump Shirt: Nothing Will Be The Same

Donald Trump is either the man you love to love or love to hate. One thing we all can agree on, when Trump is officially crowned God Emperor of All Humanity And Most Of Space, nothing will be the same. I created this yuuuuuuge Donald […]

  • Max Stirner Bibliography

Book Cover: Max Stirner Bibliography by Trevor Blake

Do you like oranges? How about obscure egoist philosophy? Guess what, you’re in luck! Trevor Blake, the man with the big ego, has collected a comprehensive bibliography of Max Stirner’s work. Blake’s new book Max Stirner Bibliography is out now, and yours truly got to […]

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Five Things I Hate About Facebook

Ah, Facebook! The world’s largest data-mining timesuck. Unfortunately, social networking is a necessary evil – especially when it takes a month for a friend to answer an email or phone call but thirty seconds to reply to a Facebook message. For the low, low price […]

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The Most Important Question To Ask Before You Go On A Date

A while ago I wrote a Craigslist ad based around a straight edge theme. Turns out that this is a bad idea – apparently the only girls who want to date straight edge guys are either fucked-up single moms looking for a knight in shining […]

By |May 5th, 2016|Categories: Dating, Humor, Stories|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments
  • Japanese tourist with many cameras

Legend of the Japanese Tourist

Have you ever been in a Walmart parking lot in rural Illinois at 3 in the morning and seen an Asian guy with a $3000 camera taking a picture of a stop sign for god knows why? Congratulations, you’ve encountered a Japanese tourist! They’re real, […]

By |April 25th, 2016|Categories: Humor, Stories|Tags: , , , , , |1 Comment
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I Used To Bench 300 Pounds

If you’re a seasoned gym rat, you’ll occasionally encounter the strangest of creatures – The Office Herb Who Doesn’t Lift, Yet Loves To Talk About Lifting. These desk shlubs talk a big game, reliving glory days that never existed. “Hey man, it looks like you […]

By |April 20th, 2016|Categories: Fitness|Tags: , , , |8 Comments
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How To Write A Location-Specific Craigslist M4W Ad

Plenty of Fish is plenty played out, and even Tinder barely generates a spark these days. Oddly enough, Craigslist M4W ads are still my best source for internet dates. I’m going to share a location-specific Craigslist M4W that I helped a friend in Portland create. […]

By |March 28th, 2016|Categories: Dating, Humor|Tags: , , , , |4 Comments
  • PUA Pussy Adventure

Fly Fresh & Barbaric’s PUA Pussy Adventure!

Ladies and International Players, Fly Fresh and Barbaric Studios is pleased to announce our latest release for the season: PUA Pussy Adventure!

Fuck Skyrim, fuck Fallout, fuck Call of Duty- you can’t get pussy in those games so who gives a shit. You know who plays that garbage? Betas. Omegas. Dregs. […]

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Native American Orgasm: February Search Terms

When it comes to search terms, the denizens of the internet never let me down. February brought thousands of sane, regular people to Mattlawrence.net searching for granny porn, pet squirrels, fat booty midgets, and of course, Native American orgasms. Take a look at February’s list […]